Saul and David

You know, life's not always what you expect. It could be going great one day, and suddenly take a face first, diving plunge into the unknown. I found that out when our seemingly perfect, no-worries-yet, plan to adopt changed courses.

The children are picked and perfect. But, what if they aren't aloud out of Uganda. The person in charge over there must sign a visa in order to let them out of the country. At the time, she refuses to sign off on any visa. For anyone.

No visa, no kids.

Just because they have their own problems half way around the world, doesn't mean everything over here is happy go-lucky either. We are trying to decide if we want to move and by a new house. Along with that we learned that instead of following the law: you can have three months off when you get new kids, Holt requires that we have at least one parent home at all times for the first six months. Mom can take the three months off but in law enforcement six months off just might mean that she quits that job and recruits to photography full time. If not and she is aloud to take six months off, she might have to work swing shifts. Dad on the other hand is trying to start up his own business which has it's struggles. If and when we do get the new children we will have to change pretty much our whole schedule. Taking them to doctor appointments, counseling things I have no clue about, helping them get places, driving them from place to place. And for a while, everything will seem like it's all about them.

I've been thinking about this more and more. So much so I'm kind of surprised I have been able to keep up on school work. I am fine while I am at school, but when I get home it all floods my mind like a tsunami. I think about it more and more all the time i even start dreaming about it. I dream about them coming here and us just being a normal happy family. But then again, I also dream about them coming and us not being able to communicate, they don't like us, everything goes down hill. I dream. I day-dream. I can't get it off my mind. What if, what if, WHAT IF?! It's all I think about. The bad things. God help me see the good in this!

I was reading my bible this morning. I flipped to the back where it has the "How to read the bible in a year" section. I found the date and turned to: 1 Samuel 19-21. I ended up reading about Saul and David. How Saul wanted to kill David, but God always kept him safe... God always had a plan. God has a plan for me and my family. I just have to have faith that it will all turn out alright.